The other day I saw your tweets about how a lot of the female empowerment message is mediated through guys. I agree with this completely, but I'm also concerned. Why? Well, I'm a guy myself and I want to be a writer. For years I've been improving on my writing of female characters and trying to make empowered female characters and spread that message. What are things I should avoid to make the message come out more properly and not filtered?
I often get this nagging feeling that because I am talking about women and female characters and female creators so much, people might think I automatically have something against male creators.
I don’t. Every new writer is a blank slate to me, everyone gets a fair shot. Everyone is capable of doing good work until they show otherwise.
The gender someone calls themselves doesn’t bestow any magic powers or insight or ability. Some of the best writers of female characters identify as male and some of the worst do not. I would rather read a Greg Rucka female than a female by a merely average female author.
The fact that this is a concern to you is a good sign. Hopefully, it’s not JUST women characters that you want to represent well, because there are lots of other groups that have historically been marginalized and stereotyped as well.
It’s just that historically, a lot of the tropes of female characters have been repeated so endlessly that it is painful to the female reader.
Some things I hope people watch out for…
1) The Perfect Everything. Often, we see guys write female characters as without flaws. This isn’t really what we want…look at the books that have huge female audiences. We do not tend to embrace the perfect woman who never makes a mistake. You can make your females have flaws, just be honest about it and avoid making them similar to stereotypes of the past.
2) The Character With No Steering Wheel. Even more often, we see women who have no agency and no direction or motive of their own. These characters are solely dependent on following a man. I am not saying never write this person, but keep in mind if that is a character YOU would enjoy reading about.
3) The Mystery Of Woman is Bullshit. I hate this trope, the woman who is supposed to represent what mysterious, sexy, tantalizing but unknowable creatures women are. It’s a staple of noir fiction, and it always sucks. Women aren’t treasure maps.
There’s a lot more but that may help a bit. Good luck!
The world is paying a whole lot of attention to the Catholic Church this week, and I totally get it—the pageantry, the hats, the smoke monster jokes, the Old World charm, Tom Hanks’s wig, all the hits.
I got a letter from a guy who is just starting out in the comedy world. And I don’t know much, but I know a few things. He wanted some advice, so I wrote him back. And then I figured I would just put this up for anybody who wants to read it.
45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
#personal #life #life lessons
∞ SEPTEMBER 17, 20122,290 NOTES
I needed to ask for help a lot last week after my computer died. It was so hard for me — i was almost in tears. It is def something i need to get cool with. Something I need to work on. Today i saw this quote. It is something to keep in mind:
"By receiving from others, by letting them help you, you really aid them to become bigger, more generous, more magnanimous. You do them a service." - Henry Miller
Most decent people really want to help others. It makes them feel good. I like to help others, but I get a sick feeling when I have to ask for help. Probably some lame childhood issue thing.